UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman:

What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?

Contestant:

Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman:

No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston:

Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant:

Geography isn’t my strong point.

Jamie Theakston:

There’s a clue in the title.

Contestant:

Leicester

BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White:

Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:

I don’t know.

Stewart White:

I’ll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant:

Arm

Stewart White:

Correct And if you’re not weak, you’re…?

Contestant:

Strong.

Stewart White:

Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?

Contestant:

Louis

Stewart White:

Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:

Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)

Alex Trelinski:

What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant:

France.

Trelinski:

France is another country. Try again.

Contestant:

Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski:

Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant:

Sorry, I don’t know.

Trelinski:

Just guess a country then.

Contestant:

Paris.

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson:

Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: – Prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant:

The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

DJ Mark:

For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis:

I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoyne:

What was Gandhi’s first name?

Contestant:

Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol )

Presenter:

What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?

Contestant:

I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO�MANCHESTER)

Phil:

What’s 11 squared?

Contestant:

I don’t know.

Phil:

I’ll give you a clue. It’s two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant:

Is it five?

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:

Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant:

Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:

On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant:

Er. .. ..

Richard:

He makes bread . . .

Contestant:

Er . ….

Richard:

He makes cakes . . .

Contestant:

Kipling Street?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter:

Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant:

Barcelona.

Presenter:

I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant:

I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain .

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Question:

What is the world’s largest continent?

Contestant:

The Pacific.

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

Presenter:

Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant:

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre:

What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant:

Magna Carta?

JAMES O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

James O’Brien:

How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant:

Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth … ER. ER . Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

Chris Searle:

In which European country isMount Etna?

Caller:

Japan.

Chris Searle:

I did say which European country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller:

Er ….. Mexico ?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

Paul Wappat:

How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause):

Fourteen days.

DARYL DENHAM’S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Daryl Denham:

In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant:

Holland?

Daryl Denham:

Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant:

Iceland? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully)

It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant:

No.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood:

What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant:

Er. … ..

Phil Wood:

It’s got two syllables . . . Kor . .

Contestant:

Blimey?

Phil Wood:

Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .

Contestant:

(Silence)

Phil Wood:

OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant:

Walked?

THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes:

What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant:

Nostalgia.

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

Presenter:

What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant:

Jewish.

Presenter:

That’s close enough.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

Wright:

Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant:

Jesus.

THE WEAKEST LINK

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.

Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET


Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL


Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?

FAMILY FORTUNES

1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the capital of France? F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
7) What is Hitler's first name? Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath? Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair
14) A famous Royal? Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with
wings
16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does? Goes to the toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom?  Decorate
19) A method of securing your home?  Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs?  The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac?  April
22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? A roof
25) Something slippery? A conman
26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish
27) A jacket potato topping? Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
30) Something red? My sweater

STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2

Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.

• National Lottery (BBC1)
o Dale Winton – Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea?
A. Irish Sea§
B. English Channel§
C. North Sea§
o Contestant – Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now. It's on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea.

• Chris Moyles Breakfast Show (BBC Radio 1)
o Chris Moyles – Which S is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
o Contestant – Err…
o CM – It begins with S and rhymes with perm.
o Contestant – Shark

• The Vault (ITV)
o Gabby Logan – What is the county town of Kent?
o Contestant – Kentish Town?

TALKSPORT
Andy Townsend: How many wheels does a tricycle have?

Caller: Two.

Townsend: The Beatles were known as the Fab...?

Caller: Five.

Quiz Show Silly Answers
QUIZ SHOW SILLY ANSWERS